Should I Join A Sorority If I’m Shy? 13 Tips for Introverts

Can you truly thrive in a sorority as an introvert? Yes! Here’s how…

Joining a sorority is such an exciting experience for many collegiate-aged women. But it can be pretty daunting for girls who are more reserved or introverted in nature.

If you are more shy and are debating whether you should join a sorority, here are 13 tips for introverts to help you make the most out of your sorority experience.

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Can introverts join sororities?

Yes! Literally any woman in college can go through sorority recruitment and join a sorority regardless if they are introverted or extroverted.

You shouldn’t let the fact that you’re shy or introverted hold you back from joining a sorority. You never know if joining a sorority could be that one push you need to get out of your shell.

Not to mention the opportunities joining a sorority could bring like:

  • Leadership opportunities
  • Networking opportunities
  • Lifelong friendships
  • Increased involvement on campus
  • Resume building opportunities

But understandably, being an introvert in a sorority comes with its own challenges such as:

  • Having a difficult time making friends in your sorority
  • Feeling depleted after sorority events
  • Difficulty opening up to girls in your sorority
  • Feeling left out or jealous of other girls in your sorority
  • Difficulty getting leadership opportunities
  • Difficulty making an impression during sorority recruitment
  • Getting dropped during sorority recruitment

So how can you thrive as the shy girl in a sorority and overcome the above challenges?

Here’s what you need to know…

13 tips for shy sorority girls

1. Rethink your expectations of what it means to be in a sorority

Scrolling through Instagram or looking through Snapchat stories, it seems like sorority life is only for girls who are (1) drop dead gorgeous and (2) extroverted.

However, sororities are so much more than that and many sororities are becoming a lot more diverse than ever before.

Sororities are meant to bring together real women from different backgrounds, perspectives, and personalities who share the same values and goals as the sorority chapter they are a part of.

So don’t let a sorority chapter’s social media profiles deter you from joining a sorority.

It’s simply a highlight reel and there’s so much more that goes into a sorority than being pretty or partying with frat guys.

But you need to take that leap of faith and join a sorority to see exactly what sorority life is all about.

2. Be the girl who reaches out–even if it’s scary!

As an introvert, you may struggle to make friends in your sorority. Especially if you aren’t the type of person people are naturally drawn to. So, what can you do?

Be the one who reaches out!

And I know it sounds scary making the first move, but you never know what kind of friendship could result from a one-time coffee date with a sorority sister or girl from your pledge class.

I met my best friend in my sorority because she messaged me on Instagram asking me to go get lunch together at the dining hall on campus. And we’ve been friends ever since even though we have both graduated from college and she’s moved away for graduate school.

So here’s my challenge to you: Direct message one girl from your sorority a week and ask her to grab coffee with you or study in the library with you.

If she doesn’t respond or says no, don’t take it personally.

Just keep reaching out and start connecting with girls in your chapter. It should get easier the more you put yourself out there.

And before you know it, you will have a handful of girls who you could potentially hang out with before/after chapter or go to sorority events with.

3. Get close to your sorority family

One of the best parts of sorority life is getting a sorority big and a sorority family to call your own.

They’re pretty much your built in sorority BFFs.

So try your best to always stay in touch with your sorority family.

Just like how you should be reaching out to girls in your sorority chapter to hang out, you should be putting in the effort to spend time with members of your sorority family on a consistent basis.

Here’s some suggestions:

  • Invite your sorority family out to eat once a week before or after chapter
  • Invite your sorority family over for a movie night or sleepover
  • Reserve a study room on campus and have a sorority fam study date
  • Invite your sorority family to go out shopping for sorority recruitment outfits
  • Invite your sorority family to get ready together before formal or semi-formal
  • Have double dates with your sorority family members and their significant others

You can also check out these 15 sorority big little date ideas for more ways to bond with your sorority family.

4. Work on gaining and maintaining high quality friendships

As an introvert, you need to understand and recognize that your sorority experience will be different than an extrovert’s. Meaning, you may not have as many friends in your sorority.

But that’s ok! You don’t need to be friends with everyone in your sorority chapter in order to thrive.

In fact, you may get more out of sorority life by just having a handful of quality friends in your sorority than a ton of friends who you are not very close to at all.

By having less friends, but higher quality friendships, you may feel a deeper connection to your sorority than having a lot of surface-level friendships that make you feel stretched too thin.

These higher quality friendships may also result in you being part of sorority sister’s bridal parties, being invited onto girls-only weekend trips, and lifelong friendships that last beyond sorority life and college graduation.

5. Think about your potential growth, not your “weaknesses”

Being more shy or introverted may make you feel limited as a potential new member or sorority sister.

You may find yourself thinking:

  • How can I stand out during sorority recruitment when there’s so many other girls who are more outgoing than me?
  • What can I contribute to my sorority if I’m shy and nervous about taking on leadership roles?
  • What if I waste my money being in a sorority only to not make any friends because I’m shy?
  • What if I get dropped by sororities during recruitment because of my shyness?
  • Why if I don’t find the perfect sorority Big because my shyness is holding me back?

All of these fears and worries, while valid, shouldn’t be the reason why you don’t at least attempt to join a sorority.

At the end of the day, sororities are looking for women who are or have the potential to be a good fit for their chapter. As long as you stay genuine and authentic throughout the recruitment process, the right sorority will find you.

So instead of thinking of your shyness or introverted qualities as being weaknesses that would prevent you from joining a sorority or making the most out of sorority life, think of all the opportunities a sorority could bring such as:

  • The opportunity to break out of your shell
  • The opportunity to join a group of supportive women
  • The opportunity to make a difference on your college campus and in your community
  • The opportunity to meet women at your university from a wide variety of backgrounds
  • The opportunity to gain leadership experience
  • The opportunity to have a mentor

6. Attend as many events as you can

As an introvert as well, I know how overwhelming and mentally draining it can be to attend events and spend time with a lot of people at once. However, attending events is literally the best way to meet new women in your sorority and show your chapter that you’re an active, loyal sister.

If it makes you more comfortable, try attending sorority events with someone in your sorority family who can help introduce you to other sisters. Or DM a girl in your pledge class and see if she’d like a ride to the event. That way you have someone to talk to and walk with on the way to the event.

However, be careful not to go too overboard with this tip.

While it is good to be active in sorority, you don’t want your grades to suffer from spending more time at sorority events than studying. Instead, you need to work on prioritizing which events mean the most to you.

For example, it may not be advantageous for you to attend every sorority PR event, but that once-a-month Sisterhood Event should definitely get written down in your calendar.

7. Be the driver to sorority events

As mentioned in tip #6, being the driver to sorority events has its advantages.

By offering rides to sisters in your sorority, you are putting yourself out there, which as a result, can help you make more friends and relations in your sorority.

In the car you can jam out to music and have deep conversations with your sorority sisters.

8. Be the girl who reaches out to new members

One of the hardest parts about being an introvert in a sorority is being left out or feeling isolated.

If you’ve experienced this in your sorority, as a new member or initiated sister, then why not be the one who makes sure everyone feels included, especially new members.

When I was a new member in a sorority, I didn’t make many friends my first semester.

I felt like I was overlooked by many sisters and potential bigs because I was more quiet in nature, I didn’t drink, I didn’t party, and I wasn’t interested in fraternities either.

But during my second semester, I made the effort to reach out to everyone in the our Spring pledge class and I ended up getting close with two girls because of it. One of them even became my sorority twin.

9. Try to take classes with other sorority sisters

It’s always nice to have someone you know in your classes, but it’s even better having a sorority sister or two in your classes.

By taking classes with sorority sisters, you will always have someone to do group work with or study in the library with and something to talk about before sorority chapter meetings.

10. Join the leadership team

An excellent way to break out of your shell as a shy sorority girl is to get a leadership role.

And although it may seem scary to put yourself out there, being in a leadership position can:

  • Be a great addition to your resume
  • Help you connection with more sisters in your sorority chapter
  • Help you gain a deeper appreciation for your sorority
  • Connect you with other women in other chapters of your sorority
  • Make you a candidate for higher leadership positions on executive council or Panhellenic Council

11. Reserve a study space for sisters

In college, it can be hard to find a quality study space in the library or the on-campus coffee shop.

If you’re seeking to make new friends in your sorority and get school work done at the same time, reserving a study space for you and your sorority sisters is a great way to accomplish both.

For instance, once a week you could reserve a large study room at the library on campus for the maximum time allowed.

Then you can post in your sorority chapter’s Facebook group or group message and let your sisters know where you’re located and for how long.

Sisters who are frustrated trying to find a study space will see your message and will be grateful for you!

However, if for some reason no one shows up, don’t be discouraged.

Keep doing it once a week and hopefully your sisters will catch on, and maybe overtime you’ll create your own built-in study group with girls in your sorority.

12. Offer assistance to sisters in need of help

College is extremely hard. And every sorority sister is going through different challenges at different times.

If you see a sister posting on social media about something she is struggling with, like a loss of a love one, recent breakup, or falling grades, reach out to her and just let her know that you are here for her if she needs anything.

Maybe even offer to take her out for dinner or help her study for her next test.

The more you reach out to sisters, whether they are in need of help or just company, the more you’ll be recognized in the chapter for being a loyal sister and the more you’ll start coming out of your shell as well.

13. Remember that school comes first

Although being a social butterfly in a sorority has its perks, it can be detrimental to your grades if lose sight of your academics.

At the end of the day remember: you’re only in a sorority because you’re in college. Meaning, college comes before sorority life.

If you have bad grades, you won’t be able to enjoy sorority life to the full extent and could potentially end up on academic probation in your sorority or, even worse, have your membership terminated.

So as an introvert wanting to join a sorority, be weary of where you dedicate your time.

Instead of striving to attend every single event to meet new sorority sisters, aim to go to one or two events per month along with any required chapter meetings or events.

Or instead of hanging out with sisters every evening, try to hang out with them on the weekends or make them into productive study dates.

Concluding thoughts on joining a sorority if you’re shy

Sorority life, on the outside looking in, looks like an extrovert’s paradise.

However, don’t let the movies or social media make you believe that shy or introverted girls don’t have a place in a sorority.

Because, you totally can join a sorority if you are shy! It just may take more effort and energy for you than the girls who find socializing to be second nature.

In this blog post we talked about 13 tips for introverts wanting to join a sorority. I hope these tips helped encourage you to sign-up for sorority recruitment or to challenge yourself to reach out to girls in your sorority to hang out.

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